You're Mine Lola, Mine
by Lola Shepard N7
Summary: The war is finally over, the Reapers are helping rebuild their lost words, but is there another war in the making? James and Dianne though they could finally enjoy the rest of their lives as a normal happy couple, but events take place that begin to tear apart at their relationship, including one very determined Major who is dead set on his tracks to rekindle a long lost romance.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I had deleted the previous version of this because I felt that I got carried away and drifted from my original plot. This is the revised and renewed version, sticking mainly on the James, Kaidan and Femshep love triangle. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. P.S. I am NOT a trained or well writer, but I just had to get this plot out there so please don't be too harsh to judge. Read and Review :)

Rated M for future chapters ;)

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Head spinning, his vision blurred as he took another swig of his drink. It slithered down his throat, tingling his taste buds, then burned as it hit his insides. Needing to erase the memories, wishing he could turn back time, he had drank about two bottles of tequila and still he couldn't forget. Hazy images ran through his head and enveloped his mind like he was in a nightmare he couldn't escape.

_He and Shepard were on their way to a small colony out in the Terminus Systems, a distress call was sent saying there were injured colonists and they needed help with a search and rescue. With the war over and the Reapers helping rebuild their lost worlds, they did whatever they could to help speed up the process. Since this colony was said to only consist of thirty, maybe forty people, Shepard thought it would be better if her and James handle this while the crew deals with the more pressing matters. Kaidan had persisted, but she got through to him. Plus they needed some alone time together since for the past six months she's been laying in the hospital, recovering from her injuries. James looked over to her and saw that her face was more flushed and relaxed than usual, for missions anyway. Swiftly, he hooked his arm around her incredibly taut waist, a small gasp escaped her mouth as she turned her head to meet his hazel-brown eyes._

_"So, Lola, this your idea of a good date?" He grinned giving her a tight squeeze, as she buckled her pistol to her side, she leaned in and pressed her lips on his, sliding her tongue between his teeth just grazing its tip. She pulled back and cocked her head, a sly grin protruding from her mouth. Putting a finger on his moist lips, softly caressing them._

_"Don't worry Lieutenant, I'll make it up to you tonight." Her voice a low, sultry whisper, was enough to make him shudder as pulses ran throughout his body. He gave her a final kiss before they fell silent through the rest of the ride._

_As the Normandy flew off in the distance, the two started to scout the place. It was rugged and looked almost inhabitable. Shepard looked around for any signs of life, while James secured the perimeter, she signaled him to continue in his direction while she went the other. There was a peculiar silence and something didn't seem right. As she continued her search, she realized that she forgot to buckle one of the clasps on her armor, setting her gun down she proceeded to her task. James was fifty yards away from her, his eyes cautious and alert, suddenly he heard movement over by Shepard, then a muffled scream. Quick to his feet he got up and swiftly made his way to her, but a sudden blow to the head sent everything into darkness._

_Painful, agonizing cries woke him. He didn't know how long he had been out for, his eyes searching for the sounds source. He blinked a few times before finally focusing on four figures. Three batarians surrounded her, two holding her wrists down, the other beating her with a wooden bat. Panic, fear and adrenaline raced through him, he lunged forward but was stopped by another batarian holding him in a tight sleeper hold, immobilizing him. He squirmed but the hold was strong._

_"You little bitch." One said as he swung the bat into her gut making her cough up a large amount of blood. They had already done a number on her before James regained consciousness. Streaks of red ran down her lips, she had bruises all over and they had stripped her down to her bra and panties, as if to degrade her. Dusty tears rolled down her face as each hit made her cry out._

_"You think you can kill thousands of my people and get away with it." Another swing to her face, making her head jerk. Slowly she lifted her face, spitting out a tooth then glaring at them with bloodshot eyes. Her look searing right into them, she then tried to speak, struggling but the words came out._

_"Y..you'll..ugh...never get away with this you sick fucks." They laughed at her as one grabbed her by the jaw and drew her into his face, with a quick jerk, she spat at him making him stumble back. He growled, fury filled his eyes, leading him to pull out a gun. Alarms were going off in James head, in panic, he bit the batarians arm. A low groan escaped his mouth. The other three then turned their attention to him, three on one? There was no way he could take them all. The rumble started, punches were being thrown at him as he did his best to throw some back but they outnumbered him. She wasn't going to let him die like this, wincing with every move, Shepard slowly got up, her eyes locked on the gun. Her hands shaking as she reached for it, but she failed to notice the bat on the floor, her feet slipped and tripped, as she fell her head managed to catch the end of the bedpost, leaving a gash on her forehead and immediately knocking her out cold. From then on it was a blur, shock waves, biotic throws, batarians flying across the room. When James came to, he saw Kaidan, Shepard dangling lifelessly in his arms.  
_

_"Lieutenant, you alright?" Genuine concern in his voice. He could see he was hurt and needed medical attention._

_"Get her to the Normandy!" James said forgetting about his own injuries._

"Lieutenant." Dr. Chackwas voice was soft, but enough to tear him away from his thoughts, he slowly faced her. "She's awake." He waited for a bit then spoke.

"Does anyone else know?" His question shocked the Doctor. Hesitantly, she shook her head.

"Why does that matter?" Her tone went from soft to stern. She crossed her arms and shot him an irritated look. "I thought you should've been the first to know."

Why? Because he was her man, the man who was suppose to be her protector, the man who watched her get beaten half to death and couldn't do anything to help her, the man who's now drunk because he can't stand the chance of loosing her. The words pressing at his head, making his state of mind even worse than before. Stumbling up, he looked at the doctor.

"I can't let her see me like this." His words slurred and sloppy. And with that he got up, pushed past the doctor and headed for Shepard's cabin. He needed a long hot shower, it gave him time to think. While stumbling towards the elevator, he failed to notice Kaidan standing in the doorway, who was furious that he wouldn't even make the effort to go see her. He took this as an opportunity to have some one on one with her.

As he made his way to the med bay, his muscles began to tense up, his breathing quickening and he felt a big migraine coming along. Upon entering he saw her gaze locked on the wall, she hardly moved and she didn't break her stare even as she spoke to him.

"Kaidan, hey." Her voice came out ragged and raspy. She shifted, clearly uncomfortable with his presence. Testing his boundaries, he cautiously made his way to gurney.

"Shepard...I...oh god." His heart ached to see her like that, her body covered in cuts, bruises and bandages, so much so that he could barely see any untainted skin.

"It's not all that bad. I'll live. Thanks to you." She retorted sensing his eyes linger on her hurt body. He smiled sympathetically placing a hand on her face.

"You know you don't have to act tough around me Shepard.."

"Act? You think I ACT tough?!" She slapped his hand away, she hated being treated like she was somehow weaker than men. Her mother taught her to never show weakness, to men especially.

"No! That's not what I meant..I."

"Well that's what it sure sounded like." Never making eye contact. She knew if she did, she'd burst into tears righ then and there.

"Shepard...I..I'm sorry." Finally looking at him she saw the pained and hurt look in his face. Guilt hit her hard. He had just saved her life along with James. Mixed emotions brewing inside her. She needed someone right now, and James was no where to be found. Not caring about the outcome of her actions, she gripped the back of his neck and pulled him into her, his face nuzzled in her chest, arms wrapped tightly around her, he slowly sat on the gurney then lifted her onto his lap as he slowly rocked her back and forth. Her mind hadn't been at ease like this in a long time. Slowly lifting her head, she met his gaze, then cupping his face as her lips met his cheek and lingered there. He then subconciously gave her one in return.

James leaned on the cold metal, as hot water ran down in ribbons through his body. It ached, but not as much as his heart. It felt like it was being ripped apart over and over again. Taking a towel, he started to dry himself off, then looking into the mirror, he paused, only to see the young, flamboyant man his mom raised replaced by a tired, frail looking ogre. Even his over-sized muscles didn't help. The words of his mother began beaming in his head , _"One day you'll find the woman of your dreams, but remember to hold her tight, because one slip up might be all it takes to lose her entirely."_ Pulling his shirt on, giving one final look at his reflection, he straightened himself up then made his way to the med bay. Thankfully his drunken state had faded giving him a clear mind. The elevator seemed to be taking it's sweet time because James began to get impatient, his gut turned, knowing something wasn't right.

When he got there, he stopped abruptly in his tracks as he saw Kaidan walk out, cheeks flushed and a small, rouge lipstick stain on his right cheek, her lipstick. He knew it was hers, it was the shade he had picked out for her on their 1st anniversary since the war ended. Anger clouded his judgement and before he knew it he had Kaidan pinned against the wall, his feet several inches from the ground and his big hand strongly gripped on his collar.

"What the fuck were you doing in there?!" His words came out in short, ragged breaths, grip tightening by the second.

"Stand down Lieutenant!. Ja..ugh..James!" With a quick jerk of his arm, he again slammed Kaidan into the wall.

"Answer my fucking question!" With his other hand he took a swipe of the lipstick and shoved the finger in his face. "What the hell is this!"

A hard biotic throw hit him straight in the gut, sending him flying across the mess hall, everyone besides the main crew had already left so thankfully no one was there to see him fall flat on his ass. Then he suddenly couldn't move anything from his neck down, puzzled, he looked around frantically, then finally settling in on the vague outline of a stasis field. Kaidan approached him at a steady pace, then leaning in close enough that he felt his breath.

"I'm disappointed in you James." He chuckled. "I managed to knock you on your ass with one throw. Do you honestly think you could protect her?" He paused with a smirk. "Actually no, I think I already got my answer." As he gave a nod towards the med bay. Pointing at the now smudged lipstick stain, "You see this? She gave me this, which by the way was meant for you. But no, the big over-muscled brute was cowering away like a pussy." His bio-tic's flared up, upon releasing the stasis field, he placed his hand on Jame's stomach. Large electrical charges rippled down Kaidan's arm to his body making him seize up before falling hard on the ground. Kneeling beside the impaled body, he gripped his neck to make a statement.

"I'm better for her and you know it. Just give up. I'll take care of her. I'll do a hell of a better job than you did."

"N...not if...I can help it." He grunted while giving raspy coughs. Kaidan then released his throat, slowly standing up.

"We'll see."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Chapter 2

She woke up, head pounding, her body numb. It felt like her lungs had collapsed. As she tried to sit up, she was immediately knocked back down, the pain in her chest was too much. After regaining her breath she began to analyze her surroundings and saw that she was back in her cabin. The subtle blue glow of the fish tank radiated onto her skin. The colorful fish seemed to move more gracefully when she was around. It was comforting. The sudden hiss of her bathroom door caught her attention, James walked out with a small bucket, cloth and her favorite shampoo, which he had a stash of just for her, the one the Alliance provided smelled like elcor urine. She smiled at him, but his face remained bitter. He sat down next to her, never making eye contact, he began to soak the cloth. The silence lasted for what seemed like ages, then she finally spoke.

"Hey...Ja-"

"Don't talk." He snapped as he poured some of the shampoo into the bucket. His tone was harsh, it shocked her, he had never spoken to her like that before. He lifted the cloth and began cleaning the grime and blood off her body. She flinched at his touch, it was rough, he didn't seem to notice let alone care that her body was still nimble from being nearly beaten to death. She had no energy to argue or snap back at him, so she just sat back and let him go along with his business. She was still in her bra and panties and as he got closer to her inner thigh, he softened his touch, making her quiver a bit. When he got to her stomach, his breath began to eradicate, little beads of sweat trickled down his eye brows. He then abruptly stopped making Shepard turn from the fish tank to him, with a confused look on her face.

"I...can't believe you Shepard." She crossed her arms before she spoke.

"Can't believe me? What the hell are you talking about James?"

"Don't play stupid Lola, I know you're anything but." She jerked her head back. Wow, way to add insult to injury. Confusion took over her mind, she honestly had no idea what he was talking about, and he eventually saw it by her expression. Taking a deep inhale, he looked straight into her eyes.

"So now that you're done with me, you're just gonna go for the next hunk you lay eyes on?!" He scowled at her, pure anger in his eyes.

"Wait..what?!" She paused, taking a moment to contemplate the situation, then she finally realized. "Is...is this about Kaidan?" He snapped, he threw the wet cloth onto the bed, just centimeters away from her.

"Finally the Great Commander Shepard picks up on things! Took you a while to catch up to that one didn't it." If his goal was to insult her, then he definitely succeeded. She looked down at her legs, as hot tears began to pour down her face. She couldn't understand why he was being such an ass to her, especially since she almost died and under his watch. She quietly began to cry, letting out soft, little sobs. Seeing this, James couldn't help but feel like a douche, _it was his fault she was bruised up like that, his fault that she almost died and his fault that she was alone in the med bay._ He really didn't mean for any of his anger to go out on her, he tried to grab her hand but she pulled it back. Not looking up at him, she hoarsely whispered.

"Please leave."

"Wha-"

"I said leave!" She actually screamed, it hurt her throat and chest real bad, but she figured she got the point across. Without saying another word, he got up and walked out the door.

What is going on, she thought that _she had finally won, he was the prize that kept her from dying on the Citadel, the one who made her feel unbearable ecstasy every night and the one who made sure she had someone to wake up to every morning._ The thoughts darted in and out of her head, she began to feel psychotic, her bio-tics flared and before she knew it she was in her bathroom, she had figured out a way to convert a pull to something like a biotic charge except, more elegant. She glared at her reflection, her once bright, flushed, freckled face was now pale and covered in black and blue bruises, her hair ragged and tangled, as she reached up to touch her face she saw her bony, frail fingers, her stunning silver eyes now a dull, lifeless grey. Before she was consciously aware of what was happening, her fist had struck the mirror sending shards of glass deep into her hand. Stumbling back, she tripped into the bathtub. The snow white surface now tainted with strawberry splotches. She barely felt the pain, her emotions were too high for her to make any sense of what she was feeling. She didn't care if she had bled to death right then, part of her though she was overreacting, _he is just one man, no reason she had to become suicidal over him._ The other knew he was her other half and losing him would be like tearing half her brain out. Her vision slowly began to blur as she felt a small pool of blood forming beneath her, instead of trying to stop the bleeding, she just laid her head back, closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

* * *

They had just landed back in London and their main focus now was to rebuild. Kaidan was preparing for their departure when he felt a cold, metallic finger tap him lightly on the shoulder.

"Major Alenko, do you happen to know where Lieutenant Vega is?" EDI asked with grave concern in her voice.

"Yeah, he's already down there cleaning up the mess...why?" Bothered at why EDI was worried.

"Major, The Commander is in a lot of pain. She has hit a critical spot of her body, she is losing blood at a very fast rate-"

"Wha...what?! EDI! Why didn't you go help her?!" Angry at the AI's negligence.

"Her door is locked with some sort of code. She must've known I would try to enter her quarters because every time I come within arms length of the door, electrical waves start to fry my systems."

Without hesitation he jumped into the elevator, before the doors closed he looked at EDI.

"Do not mention this to the Lieutenant, understood?" The AI gave a slight nod before walking away.

His bio-tics began to flutter aimlessly around him, fear was all he felt at that moment. With one strong biotic throw, the cabin door shattered. He scanned the room but there was no Shepard. A soft mumbling sound drew his attention to the bathroom, he saw that she had placed a barrier, which he easily got around. Upon entering he saw her stiff, almost naked body lying in a pool of her own blood, he ran to her and gripped her bleeding wrist, she thankfully didn't lose as much blood as he anticipated, he then carefully applied medi-gel to the wound. Her eyes were still closed as he lifted her from the bathtub and into the shower. Slowly, he took off her bra and slipped her out of her panties. He couldn't help but stare at her bruised but beautiful naked body lying before him. He then proceeded to take off his armor. His shirt and very tight fitting pants were soaked and clung to his skin as he bathed the sleeping Shepard. The wound had already fully healed and the glass shards instantly fell out. Finally he took a towel, wrapped her in it and placed her in the bed. He took this as an opportunity, since he himself hadn't showered in over three days. Slipping out of the already wet clothes, he jumped back in the shower. The hot water feeling amazing on his skin, his arousal was still throbbing from seeing the naked goddess. Turning the hot water to ice cold instantly took care of that. He then went and got dressed.

When Shepard woke up, she felt so...refreshed, which shocked her seeing as how she was just covered in dirt and blood several minutes ago. Remembering the bathroom incident, she looked at her now healed wrist, when suddenly a warm, calloused hand gripped her forearm. She looked up to see Kaidan's golden-brown eyes staring intently at her.

"Don't worry, you didn't lose a large amount of blood. You'll be fine." He said as he softly kissed her wrist.

"I...wha...how?" Stunned since she barely had any memory of the incident, and even more shocked at the Major's actions.

"I don't know what you did Shepard, EDI told me you were losing blood so I ran up here and I found you lying in the bathtub...there was so much blood Shepard." He looked like he was about to cry. Releasing his grip he stood up and handed her come clothes. She looked down at her now exposed torso. With a swift motion, she took the sheets and covered herself.

"Kaidan, do you mind explaining why the fuck I'm naked!" He chuckled before throwing the heap of clothes at her. He then turned his back to her and motioned for her to get dressed. She quickly obliged. Biting back a smile as he spoke.

"I had to get the blood and dirt off you somehow." As he gave a nod at her shower. She instantly blushed, remembering the night before Illos. That was the first of many nights he had seen her bare before him, until she died. When she finished buttoning up her shirt she slowly stood up, her head still dazed from the blood loss. He made his way over to her, his arms found their way to her waist. She didn't know what to do, remembering the things they did brought back some unwanted affections, her groin began to twitch. No, she had James and that was enough for her. The past is the past. She gently pushed him back.

"Thanks Kaidan." He stepped back looking a bit betrayed, needing to ease his tension she pulled him back into her and gave him a squeeze. "For everything." He cupped her hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

"Anytime."

It was pretty late, Shepard had slept the whole day, Kaidan spent his time cleaning the remaining items in the crews quarters and James has been heaving piles of rubble all day. His muscles were sore, his feet ached and he had a migraine, the Reapers helping was a nice touch but every once in a while they would let out these sound waves that went straight to his head, he figured it was like an atomic fart for them. He gave a weak chuckle at his silly imagination. When he finally got to Shepard's quarters, since the elevator seemed to hate him and take its time every time he got on, he saw her sleeping peacefully, she kind of reminded him of a child who just had a warm cup of milk before settling in to bed. He also saw that she was...clean. Huh, I wonder how she managed to bathe herself, she was barely able to stand this morning. He needed a shower, and real badly too, it would give him time to think about how to apologize to her, when he walked into bathroom, his stomach dropped, he saw the broken mirror, a blood trail, that he cautiously followed in fear of what he might find, he gut clenched when he saw the pool of half dried blood and the bits of glass shards poking out in the bathtub. But his attention was immediately drawn to the pile of armor laying at the corner of the shower. Forcing himself to take his eyes off the bloody mess, he made his way to the armor. Someone had run in under the shower. As he picked up the chest plate he saw a little symbol on left side, it was a Specter symbol.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: SO SO SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS DELAY! I've just been real busy lately :( But I finally got around to writing a quick little chapter for you guys :) Yes I know, it's a bit rushed, but I needed to get that out of the way so I can get to the good stuff ;) I will be going more in depth with in later chapters.

PS: Sorry for any Grammar or Spelling mistakes -.-

Read, Review and Enjoy!

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"Commander."

"Ugh, what is it EDI?! I feel like absolute shit right now so this better be fucking important." Shepard had been out for two days straight now and hadn't had plans on getting up anytime time soon, the effects of the beating still dawning on her.

"Well...if you consider you crew members planning to induce bodily harm to one another of importance, then yes, this of vital importance." All at once, all the pain in her body faded away and was immediately replaced with scared-suspicion.

"EDI, care to elaborate on that... like, NOW!" Her anxiety level rocketing.

"Lieutenant Vega is intending to hurt Major Alenko. He stated he was going to _"beat his fucking face in"_." The AI stated, emphasizing the last few words, seemingly confused of its meaning.

"Where is he?!" She practically screamed.

"At the cargo bay, on his was to-"

"Yeah, I got it!" With that, she bolted up right and darted to the elevator, completely overlooking the fact that she was wearing nothing but a sports bra and very snug, standard Alliance issued undergarments. The ride down was strangely comforting to her, since she was using the elevator, then there was no way James was going any where until she got down there. Her bio-tics sparked, her fear emanating. The doors slid open and there James was. The look of anger she managed to get a glimpse of disappeared, now the look of confused-surprise. James couldn't help but gawk a bit. Her bra squeezed her perky breasts, her amazingly taut stomach gleamed in the light and her very tight underwear was being enveloped in between the soft folds admits her legs.

"Lo..Lola, what are-" Then he focused back onto her attire, events of the the night before and what _may_ have happened with her and the Major flashed into his mind. His fury resurfaced, he tried to push past her but she held her ground.

"Get out of my way."

"As far as your concerned, I'm still your commanding officer and I make the orders. Not you."

"As far as I _was_ concerned, you were mine not the Majors, but I guess he was more than just a piece of your arm candy, am I right?" Fighting back the urge to just straight up punch him, she turned and let the anger go straight to the wall. A small trickle of blood slithered down her right arm.

"Hey want me to go get Kaidan, maybe he can kiss that better." He mocked, but it wasn't genuine, like he was worried.

"What the fuck James?! Why are you acting like this?" Her voice trembled, attempting to control, or at least limit her rage. He once again tried pushing past her but her stand was strong. "Your not leaving until I get an answer...you owe me that much." His thoughts wandered back to all the times she'd saved him. When she chose him as her bodyguard back when she was on house arrest, even when Anderson said he could find someone more _"qualified"_ than just an over-muscled recruit. The time she dug at a collapsed building for three days straight just to find him, she even stayed at the hospital for a month while he recovered. He did owe her this, a hell of a lot more in fact.

"Ask then." He simply said. Her fist still clenched, she took a step towards him.

"Alright. First off, you can start by telling me what's going on with you and Kaidan." James's gut twisted at the mention of him. He breathed out, calming himself before he spoke.

"He's just an asshole with a huge ego is all. That **_pendejo_** acts like he's king shit, like he's somehow better than us-"

"You mean, you." She said, blatantly cutting him off. He arched his brow.

"What?" It was cunning how she always knew what he was thinking, it scared him sometimes.

"He acts like he's better than you. I see the way he is when around you. He does his _"by the book"_ tactics and shoves them in your face, seeing as how your not really that kind of guy."

"So what, I'm the reckless grunt who doesn't give two shits about protocol? Well gee thanks." He retorted back at her. She tried to reach out to him, but he stepped back.

"Dammit James! Stop with the bullshit and just tell me the truth! Tell me why-" Suddenly, his large hand was wrapped around her neck, but the grip was soft, tame.

"He tried to take you away from me Shepard!" The sound of her heart pounding at her chest filled her ears. He awkwardly moved his hand and placed it on her cheek. "I...I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, especially to him." She pushed away from him, tears building in her eyes.

"Then why?! Why are you taking this all out on me!" He paused. Trying to find the best possible answer, but he knew only honesty would fix this.

"Because, I could see you still cared for him. I didn't want to hurt him, scared that it would hurt you more." He quietly chuckled to himself. "Guess it really doesn't make sense huh?"

"... really doesn't. Sure I care for him James, but not the same way I care about you. I...I love you, more than anyone or anything in this universe." She tried to smile, but he could he the pained tinge behind it.

"But you loved him too didn't you?" He didn't want to bring that up, but there was just no way around it.

"Yeah, yeah I did." Her voice was shaky. "But even then, I felt like there was something missing. He was so...uptight. Everything always by the book, regulations and what not. He didn't even want to tell anyone about us at first, can you believe that? I could never be my real self around him." She then reached out and tugged at his dog tags. "But with you, it's different. You proudly let the whole goddamn world that I'm yours. With you I'm Lola-" That did it for him, placing his hands on her hips, he slowly backed her up against the wall.

"And _you're mine Lola, mine_." He breathed onto her lips, then pressed down on them. They were so soft, so moist, just the way he liked them. Their kiss continued, deepening by the minute. She eventually pulled back and gasped for air.

"So...I take it you're not mad at me anymore?" She asked, brushing her hands through his short, stubby mow-hawk, her obsession with it never ceased to fascinated him.

"I never had any right to be Lola. I'm...sorry." He replied, tracing kisses along her jaw line. Her breath hitched, as he nibbled his way down her neck.  
"Well. Hackett did just order the crew to go on a two week shore leave...aah!" She whimpered, his thick arousal pressing against her warm core. "So you'll have to make it up to me then." He thrust it against her, making her legs give out. Cupping her ass, he hoisted her up and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Yes Ma'am! But remember, in bed I give the orders, **_comprendeh?"_**

"**_Si senior._**" She teased. Her Spanish was god awful, but it still somewhat managed to turned him on. _Weird._ He gave her another peck before carrying her to the elevator. Her head nestled on his shoulder, eyes closed, completely content.

As the doors opened, they were greeted by Joker's and, wouldn't you know it...the Major's eyes, wide and focused on them. Kaidan's gaze eventually turned into a searing glare. James smiled triumphantly at his little victory, then casually walked in with the _THE Commander Shepard_, his CO clutching tightly onto him like a child. Her eyes were still closed, completely oblivious to the two men. Kaidan being there sparked up an idea for James. The tiny devil in him emerged. He leaned in and whispered to her, but loud enough for the two to here.

"You're going to let me fuck you Private." And that was her cue for their..._role-play._

"Ye...yes sir." She stammered.

"You're going to moan my name all night long, letting everyone on this damn ship here me dominate you."

"Yes sir."

"You're going to let me suck you dry, understood?"

"Yes..." With a quick jerk, he smacked her ass, hard enough to make her groan with delight. "Sir yes sir!" Joker choked back harshly on his breath, making Shepard's eyes burst open, utter horror filling her. Perceiving the situation to look highly improper and probably a bit queer, she quickly tried to break from Jame's grasp but to no avail. He had pinned her against the wall with his bare chest, impaling her. She shot him a infuriated look.

"James! Put me-"

"Hey! You will not talk like that to your superior or you will be harshly punished, am I clear?" She looked back at the two men, both completely stunned into silence, Kaidan's eyes tearing away at her. Her crew seeing her being made submissive was utterly embarrassing, yet somehow very...salacious. Forcing her mind back to reality, she punched at Jame's chest with all her might, but it ended up almost breaking her hand. Her mind went completely blank.

"Bu...but, we're not in bed yet..." Was all she could whisper back, trying her best to keep her voice low.

"Ha ha, we're getting there." He smirked, then leaned in and plunged his tongue into her mouth. Kaidan's face twisted in anger, the upstart tank touching what was meant to be his. His bio-tics flared brightly, Joker thankfully noticed this and pulled him back.

"Um, ma'am, Don't you think you two, save that for the uh...bedroom?." Joker said wearily, afraid of what Kaidan would do. James pulled back from the kiss and glared a Kaidan then back at Joker.

"Don't worry Limpy, we're getting there." Joker couldn't help but give a laugh.

"Limpy? Really, you couldn't come up with anything better."

"Oh trust me **_essay_**, I could. I'm just being nice. You know, to spare your feelings." Kaidan shoved hard at the button for the CIC, he needed to get out of there and fast. The sounds of her subtle moans and his raspy breaths ate away at him,_ this isn't right...she's mine._ Finally the elevator came to a stop, quicker than light, he bolted out of there, Joker following close behind. Once the doors closed Shepard glared back at James.

"James, you know that wasn't right."

"...C'mon, he had that one coming."

"No he didn't! He didn't do anything to you-" Suddenly, he'd cupped his hand on her mouth, muffling her words.

"Me?! No shit he didn't do anything to me!" Setting her down, turning away before speaking. "But I know he did something to you...that night, when I stormed off. I know you two got it going when I left." His face saddened, looking as if the tears would start pouring right then.

"What?! Okay now you've completely gone **_loco_** on me James, nothing happened." She said calmly, feeling a bit of relief.

"Then why was his armor laying underneath _OUR_ shower?! Oh yeah and not to mention that EDI said he went up to check on you, she wouldn't tell me why though." He snapped back at her. She sighed. Silence lasted until the elevator came to a stop. Taking his hand, she led him into the cabin then into the bathroom. The glass shards and dried blood still looming on the floor. Picking up one of the shards, she looked back at him, sorrow in her eyes.

"Did you know I...I used to cut myself." She whispered, taking a deep breath. "All the time James." Her eyes snapped shut, James could see her grip tightening around the glass.

"Shepard, stop. Stop...Lola STOP!" His scream brought her back, his eyes widened with fear, her hand bleeding once again. Dropping the glass, she stared at the blood, it made her feel...good. "Why, why didn't you tell me this?" He quietly asked, treading as lightly with her as possible.

"We were happy James, I didn't need to bring that piece of baggage into your life." Taking the bleeding hand, he took a small towel, ran it under water, then placed it onto her hand, giving a small amount of pressure. She winced at the touch.

"Shepard, we still are happy. And you were already in my life, every last bit of you." He assured her. "Now, unload all that baggage on ol' Jimmy here." The smile that made him fall in love with her resurfaced, taking his breath away. Leading her to the bed, he laid down with his arm out gesturing her to join him. Once she was nestled beside him, her head resting on his broad chest, he pulled the covers over them. "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"C'mon, for me? Please?"

"Ugh, talk about what..." Annoyed at his persistence.

"Well, maybe telling me what kind of sick thing would drive you to do that to yourself..." He felt her body go tense. Using his free hand, he softly brushed it through her hair, comforting and urging her to go on. Finally she spoke.

"It started when I was 14. Bio-tics weren't as...accepted back then and being as naive as I was, I didn't keep the fact that I was to myself. They picked on me constantly, did everything they could to hurt me. At first I didn't let it get to me, always laughing it off. But there comes a time when you just can't kid yourself anymore you know?"

He thought about it, he'd never actually experienced anything like that. Growing up he was well accepted, even the girls were just lining up to have a chance at talking to him. Knowing this made him feel awful, the fact that he couldn't comprehend what she'd been through.

"One day, my mom left a half empty bottle of Vodka on the counter and well...I ended up getting drunk off my ass, glad that I managed to forget about everything, even if it was just for a while. I heard her shuttle pull up a couple hours later, so I tried running upstairs to wash up, but about halfway there, I tripped. The bottle broke in my hands, cutting me deep in the wrist." Hot tears fell onto his chest, he could feel her trembling sobs against him. "When I got the hospital, I kept thinking...I want that back. The feeling of the cuts, the blood spilling from me."

"Shepard, I..._**cristo bonita**_, I'm so sorry." Tightening their embrace, wishing he could make all her pain go away.

"The blood, it gave me comfort. Let me know I was human, and not the freak-"

"You are NOT a freak! Don't ever think that you are!" His voice harsher than he intended.

"But-"

"Without your kick ass powers, we would've never won that goddamn war." Knowing she couldn't argue with him, she just nodded.

"That night, when you left, I thought I was going to lose you and that thought scares me more than any amount of Reapers could. I didn't know what to do...so I punched the mirror." She said, awkwardly giggling, embarrassed at herself.

"But, how did you end up in the bathtub?"

"I tripped..." Now it was his turn to laugh.

"_**Dios**_. But I still don't see why _Major Butt-kiss_ was up here."

"EDI probably told him. I knew she would try to get in so I put up a barrier-"

" Wait, you were just gonna let yourself die, just like that?!" He angrily interrupted.

"Well yeah, I mean...god you're everything to me. I won that damn war for you. What could I do without you?" A small but passionate kiss on her eyes was all he could reply, disgusted with himself to be ready to walk out on her, when she was there fighting to hang on.

"Anyway I passed out so I don't know. Apparently he found me, laying in my blood so...he um." Puzzled at her abrupt silence, he lifted his head to meet her eyes.

"He what?"

"Erm..."

"Shepard, you tell me right now!" Already sensing that he wasn't going to like her answer.

"Um...promise me you won't do anything hasty, okay James?"

"If you tell me then, maybe I'll consider not breaking him in two."

She heaved a low sigh. "He showered, with me. Wait! No! I mean like, he bathed me while... I was passed out...shit, this sounded better in my head." She could hear his eradicated breathing, maybe it was just her imagination but she could've sworn she felt his entire body blaze up. She quickly straddled him, trying her best to keep him down. Then he went off.

"That son of a bitch! Who the fuck does he think he is, I'm gonna beat the living shit out of that fucking prick! I swear if he-"

"James! Please, that's only going to make things worse!" Without warning, he forcefully flipped their position so that he was now on top.

"How can this get any worse?! He touched you! Your...naked body, he violated you!

"But, he's seen me naked before-" Gripping her shoulders, he shoved them down onto the bed taking the breath out of her. "_*gasp*_ Hey! Easy on the arm!" She groaned out.

"That was different! You wanted him to do...whatever the fuck you guys did, but this, you were passed out! You had no way to say no-"

"Being a little melodramatic don't ya think? C'mon James."

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?!" He persisted. His breath sounded that of a dog, panting and huffing. The pain behind his eyes hit her, this really bothered him, when she herself didn't even give it a second thought. _He cares, wow. He really does care._

"Oh James..." The softness of her voice surprised him. Loosening his grip he moved his hands to her waist, while she lifted hers to his face, lightly brushing the small scar on his left cheek with her thumb. She rewarded him with a small, subtle kiss on the lips.

"...What was that for?" He asked curiously, then leaned in for another.

"Just because. You know I love you right?" She giggled at him. He smirked then gave her butt a nice little squeeze.

"Oh no you don't. You're trying to distract me! Well, it's working, but we _WILL_ talk about this later, clear?"

"We have two weeks Lieutenant, we'll have plenty of time to..._"talk"_."

* * *

"Turn it off."

"But-"

"I said off, NOW!" Kaidan hollered at Joker, who then instinctively followed orders and shut off the omni-vid. Joker being the_ Scuttle-bug_ of the ship had to live up to his name and installed camera's all throughout the Normandy, with the help of EDI of course. Even though most of the crew was gone, it was still nice to know what was going on with everyone. Kaidan being a Sentinel got one of his camera's and this was his...reward to him for not spilling the beans to everyone about his pass-time.

"Sir I..." Joker stuttered, he honestly didn't know what to say.

"We were together for two years, and not once did she ever tell me about that." Kaidan choked, beyond pissed that out of those two years, she never trusted him enough to tell him. But with him, the Lieutenant she's been _"dating"_ for a little bit over a year, she spilled out her entire life story to him. _Enough! I'm going to end this.  
_"Joker, I'm going to need your help on something." A devilish grin plastered across his face.

"Sure, anything boss."

"Come to my room, we have a lot of planning to do before shore leave..."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Good lord, I'm SOOOOO sorry! I've just been really busy and to be completely honest, I didn't know if this story was worth continuing. I wrote this as a test, if people like it, then the story will most likely continue. If not, it will be discontinued. :(

Now I know this isn't the Kaidan we all know and love but, I've been stuck on how to continue this so I came up with the best thing I could...  
Warning: There is RAPE IMPLIED SMUT in this so...read with Caution! Also, this is very rushed, so please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes.

PS: If I do decide to discontinue this story, I would be more than willing to let one of you continue it! I would love to see what you guys can come up with! Just inbox me and tell me your idea and I'll get back to you! :)

Read, Review and Enjoy!

* * *

"Lola! Wake up," James nearly yelled at the restless beauty that laid on his lap as she squirmed and fidgeted. "It's alright baby, I'm here." He soothed her best he could. Sweat dripped down her forehead in large beads as her frizzled locks stuck to her face. Finally, her eyes burst wide open, darting frantically around the room. As James reached out for her, she yanked herself out of his reach and nearly fell off the bed. Thankfully, he caught her by the wrist and pulled her back.

"Ja...James?" Her voice was so meek, so scared. As her bright silver eyes met his, tears started to pour down them in long streams.

"Shh, come here." Without hesitation, he took her into his arms and held her in a tight embrace. She nuzzled her face deep into his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent. God, how she hated being this vulnerable. Ever since she started dating James, tears and emotions came from her a lot easier than before. But it wasn't a bad thing, in fact, she was extremely grateful to him, for bringing back the humanity she'd once thought she had lost. Still, the Commander side of her was still there and she only ever cried in front of him and he felt such honor with her trust in him."Another one?"

She replied with nothing but a weak nod. He breathed a sad sigh before he cupped her trembling face, caressing it in the hopes to calm her.  
The nightmares started all because of something that never should've happened.

* * *

_Shepard and her small attack squad that consisted of James and Liara had been pulled out just in time before the Citadel burst with a huge biotic shot, spreading a wave of green throughout the entire galaxy. One by one the reports of every mass relay exploding with a mass of green came in. As Cortez landed the small, battered shuttle onto the ruins of Vancouver, Shepard's mother, Captain Hannah Shepard greeted her daughter with open arms. Filled with such relief that she would be able to enjoy this great victory with the only flesh and blood she had left on this Earth. They started in awe as the Reapers, the husks, every single monstrous creature ceased their attack. My, was it a glorious sight. Shepard and Hannah walked hand in hand through the rubble streets, worried yet hopeful to see who had survived._

_"I'm so proud of you honey." Hannah told her daughter with up most sincerity. Shepard's heart cheered as those words echoed through her ears. Her mother was always affectionate, but it was often very playful. But this, she meant every word she had said. Fighting back the tears, Shepard smiled at her,_

_"I love ya' mom." Her voice quivered as the emotions threatened to spill out right then and there._

_Before her mother even had the chance to reply, one measly husk managed to ruin everything._

_As it stumbled aimlessly, it had managed to trigger something. Hannah heard a familiar beeping noise. An IED. Without hesitation, she turned to her daughter and heaved a huge biotic throw sending Shepard, James and Liara flying in the opposite direction. A fiery blast enveloping her mother was the last thing she saw before the impact of the explosion knocked her out cold._

* * *

"I'm sorry..." James's calm, yet saddened voice broke her away from the painful memory. It was all he could think to say to her, knowing no amount of comfort or words could take away the pain she felt.

"She...never, she never even got to say she loved me." She whimpered against his calloused hand.

"You know she did right?"

"Ye-yeah! Of course I did bu-" Using the placement of his hand to his advantage, he placed his thumb on her lips, silencing her.

"Shepard, your mother loved you and you know it. Her death was never your fault and don't you ever tell yourself that it is," He briefly paused while he gently lifted her face to meet his gaze. "Never doubt her decision Lola, she did it for you." As he said those words, afraid that that may have lessened his point further, he felt her body as it trembled against him. To his shock, it was not in anger or pain but more of relief. Her soft, sigh came out in a quiet shiver. "Now, c'mon, we have shore leave to get to." He happily said before he lifted her bridal-style and carried her to their shower.

* * *

"You understand what you have to do, right?" Kaidan asked hopeful but with evident frustration.

"Yes? Well, i think so...wait, do I-" Joker was blatantly cut off as Kaidan literally face-palmed himself.

"Ugh. Okay. Shepard is about to walk down this way with a stack of data-pads in her hand. Now as soon as she comes to that point," He paused while he pointed to the edge of the wall, "You _"accidentally"_ bump into her. That's it. Got it?" He asked, clearly irritated. Joker nodded frantically and grinned cheekily. Kaidan couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his mouth in due to Joker's enthusiasm.

_Maybe he doesn't get why I'm doing this. Wait, of course he does! He saw the video of them! Then why is he smiling...hah. I can't tell if he's happy about this or just stupid._

Even though he was one of the best pilots in galactic space, his common sense was not up to par with most humans.

Joker just thought that Kaidan was simply trying to win back some of Shepard's affection, nothing more. Oh, but no, Kaidan wanted **_A.L.O.T_**more than affection from Shepard. Joker being...well...Joker was completely oblivious to this fact.

As if on cue, Shepard walked out with a stack of data-pads in hand. Joker wanted to time this perfectly even though part of him was afraid of what Shepard might do.

When she reached the point, Joker limped towards her and with most of his strength, rammed into her. The data-pads being stacked face high blinded her of her peripheral vision. The impact hit hard and soon after, the data-pads were thrown from her grasp and onto the floor. While that happened, Shepard braced herself for the coming impact of the hard metal floor. But before she could even fully contemplate the situation, two arms caught her by the waist, as they steadied her. Her gaze went upward only to be shocked by the Major's, well, quite handsome face smiling down on her.

"Whoa there Shep. You have to be more careful." Kaidan stated coyly. The feeling of his grip as it tightened around her sent panic waves through her mind. Every smart part of her being told her mind to push him away but her body always betrayed that, welcoming his touch with open arms.

"Ka...Kaidan, uh...hi,..uh-"

"Shep, what is up with you?" Ha ha, there's no need to be nervous around me." He huskily chuckled.

_What's up with me? What the hell is up with you! and nervous, me?...no._

Doing her best to refrain from slapping him for indicating that she would show weakness to him by being nervous, she bit down on the inside of her bottom lip, taking her anger out on the poor patch of skin. As his hand lowered itself down her backside, that was when her brain finally decided come to it's senses.

"Uh, aha...um, what the hell are you d-doing?" She stuttered, as she fought back the shivers that racked through her body as his fingers danced down her back.

_Shepard! What the fuck is wrong with you! Get him off you!_

Eventually, she pried her body from his grip.

As Joker watched while Shepard rambled and stumbled over her words, he decided to break the ice just to end her suffering.

"Ey boss, Sorry! I really didn't see you there." He said in the most fake _"sincere" _apologetic tone he could.

It took all of Kaidan's willpower to not slam Joker's face into the floor for interrupting their _"moment."_

"Yeah. Um. Joker, EDI said she needed you for something, Better _"get to it"_." Kaidan harshly interjected, sending Joker to immediately cower and do as he was told.

After Joker had limped away in fear, Kaidan turned his attention to Shepard as she knelt before him, hurriedly picking up the fallen data-pads. Oh, how the sight of her on her knee's just made his own knees weak. Not to mention send pulses down to his groin. He took a step towards her, leading her to flinch at his closeness.

"Uh Kaidan, you better get your dick away from my face before I bite it off." She playfully snapped at him as she picked up the last data-pad, glad that it landed a good enough distance for her to move her head away from his crotch.

"Well, you were always rough when you got your mouth on it, Shep."

_The...Fuck...did-did he just say? WHAT?!_

Anger, embarrassment, even guilt bubbled within her, remembering the nights where he had his hand fisted in her hair, lowering her mouth down onto him. She paused a few moments, calmed her breathing, her body, herself entirely before she turned to his face. Annoyed when it had a seductive grin plastered on it.

"First off, Major. That is a highly inappropriate thing to say to your commanding officer. Second, that was the _past_ Kaidan. Get that through your thick ass skull." She spat at him, wanting to take back the last sentence she had said, yet secretly hoped that it would be a clear enough message to tell him to **MOVE ON**. For a good five minutes, they stood in awkward silence, Shepard's glare locked onto his face.

"Shep, I-"

"That too, stop calling Shep! I mean, c'mon Kaidan. If you're gonna give me a nickname, at least make it a good one." Her glare softened but the irritation was still there.

"Oh, so it's okay for Lieutenant Ape over there to give you one, but not me."

_Lieutenant Ape?! That's...actually not bad, gotta keep track of that one._ Shepard noted to herself, almost outwardly laughing but refrained herself from doing to as to not ruin the serious conversation.

"As a matter of fact, yes it is! At least, his nickname has some originality in it and plus, in case you've forgotten, I am his girlfriend."

Kaidan inwardly cringed that the combination of those two words. _"His girlfriend."_

"He named you after his sisters _"hot"_ best friend!"

"I find it flattering, thank you very much. And at least he didn't just cut my damn name in half and call me by it like I'm some child"

Their voices were raised so high, that James eventually took notice. He turned off the stove before leaving to go see what the ruckus was. James got the _"chef"_ title mostly in due to the fact that whenever he cooked anything, he would ask everyone if they wanted some anyway. Plus, his Latino background gave him a lot of nice recipes.

"Oh c'mon Shep-"

"Stop with the fucking Shep!"

As the two bickered at each other, they failed to notice James walk over. He silently watched as they argued, not failing to notice how tightly clenched Shepard's fists were. That was her technique to hold back her rage, take it out on herself. But his stand-by was almost immediately cut short when he saw the Major's arm reach out and pull Shepard's body against his own. Now his rage surfaced, and James was not the type to take his anger out on himself. He much preferred for the people who've done him wrong to bear it. Without a moments notice, he had Kaidan pinned up against the wall and had pushed Shepard behind him, rougher than intended.

"You gotta a lot balls doin' that kinda shit in front of me." He snarled sending fear down even Shepard's spine. Kaidan's shocked expression lasted only a few seconds before changed into a smug one.

"Well, I got a lot more than you that's for sure, Lieutenant."

With one fluid move, James slammed Kaidan's head hard against the steel wall. "I wouldn't get too cocky, Major. I do hold your life in my hands at the moment."

Now, Shepard was getting really scared. When James made threats, he always delivered on them. Not that he would rip Kaidan to shreds right in front of her, he would probably do it in the dead on night, when nobody's watching. Coming to her senses, Shepard tugged hard at James's arm, eventually yanking him away from Kaidan.

"James, that's enough."

"You can't seriously be defending what he just did right there-" Not in the mood to argue, Shepard planted a hard, passionate kiss on his lips, successfully silencing him. She broke away, a bit breathless.

"I'm not. Now, you were in the middle of cooking me breakfast, better get back to it."

Before he had the chance to argue, Shepard grabbed onto his arm and went into a biotic charge dragging him straight to the dining area. But before she did, Kaidan did not miss the deadly glare she shot him before charging. _Well, that didn't go all as planned._

* * *

"Why do you let him do it Shepard?"

Shepard looked up from her food and replied with a confused look."Define _"him"_ and _"it"_." She chuckled then got back to digging into her meal.

James slammed his hands down hard onto the table, leading his drink to spill a little."You know damn well what I mean!"

He was right, she knew what he meant. Why she let him talk to her the way he does, why she lets him touch her the way no man other than James should. And the truth was, she honestly didn't know. No matter how many times she went through it in her head, she could never tell herself why or even rationalize it.

"James I-"

"Shepard! By the goddess, are we really going here?!" Liara rushed to Shepard's side while she waved a data-pad in her face, "Stracona Park Lodge?!"

Swiping the data-pad from Liara, Shepard looked at it to see that Admiral Hackett had reserved the entire resort for them. It was place more by the country side of Vancouver, leaving them free from the sounds of traffic and busy city streets. _My god it was gorgeous, and huge too!_

"I...I uh, guess we are. Liara, where did you get this?"

"It was by the terminal and it was flagged urgent, so I decided to take a _look-see!"_ Liara said in her usual bubbly tone. "It says we are to pack up immediately, the shuttles will be waiting in Vancouver and they'll take us straight there!" She squealed as she hugged Shepard tight.

"Nnng, Liara ease up! I can't breath!" She sputtered as she let out a heave of breath when she finally let her go. Liara happily skipped back to her room to pack. Shepard was so thankful to Liara for shifting the conversation. She looked back at James, hoping he would just drop it.

"Don't think I don't expect an answer later." He blatantly said and without another word made his way to the elevator.

_What is up with him? He's so...distant and he's acknowledgement for my authority is pretty much gone._

* * *

"Alright, listen up everyone!" Shepard raised her voice enough for the entire crew to hear. She had gathered everyone in the CIC, most of the crew were oblivious and had no clue what was going on. Besides Shepard, only Liara, James and Kaidan knew. Although no one knew Kaidan knew. "Okay, settle down, yeah talking to you Joker." Shepard scolded while pointing a finger at the chattering pilot.

"What's going on Shepard?" Garrus asked, a little less than impressed for the interruption to his _"calibrating"_

"Keel-ah Garrus! Your damn calibrations can wait!" Tali and Garrus have been dating for a while now and it was quite evident to everyone that Tali was the man of the relationship. But Garrus didn't seem to mind. In fact he seemed to take a liking to her assertiveness.

"Now now, don't be so harsh on the ol' Garrus there Tali." Traynor playfully pouted, getting a small laugh out of everyone. Even Garrus.

"Okay, now, everyone I have some pretty awesome news. Admiral Hackett had been kind enough to rent out the entire Stracona Park Lodge up by country-side Vancouver, just for us!"

At first there was complete silence, most of them were stunned. But the excitement quickly surfaced as everyone began to cheer and chat happily amongst themselves, already making plans on what they were to do. Shepard raised her hands, hushing them.

"Now, we have to deal with the matter of sleeping arrangements. I know there are definitely enough rooms for everyone to have one of their own, but for Admiral Hackett's sake and for the sake of the people who have to clean it after, we have to try and pair up."

James instinctively took Shepard by the waist and held her close, a good enough indication for Shepard to get what he meant. James also made sure to see the Major's face when he did, disappointed and a tad bit worried to see a devious smirk plastered across his face.

Liara blushed as Traynor offered to stay with her, the crew had noticed something going on between the two, but assumed they just weren't ready to be open about it.

Joker snuggled against EDI, who awkwardly snuggled back. The AI had been doing her very best to learn human affections and customs, even though she was still a bit wary but she was getting the hang of it.

Tali playfully punched Garrus in the arm as he yanked her to him.

"Okay, everyone got someone?" Shepard asked as she scanned the room. "Oh, Kaidan. I..uh-"

"Don't worry, I don't plan on being alone for long." He smirked, leading Shepard to shoot him a suspicious look. Everyone was too caught up in making plans with their lover to notice. Shepard broke free from James and went to Kaidan.

"Are you bringing someone? Cause, I don't know if that's alright, Hackett did rent the place out for the crew, only." She questioned.

"Calm down Shep, I'm not bringing anybody."

"Then what was tha-"

"Commander, we have arrived in Vancouver!" EDI nearly squealed, it was always interesting to hear emotion on an AI's voice.

Kaidan simply brushed past Shepard with nothing more than a grin on his face.

* * *

**Kaidan's POV:**

"That arrogant, brute." I muttered angrily to myself as I packed up the last few bits of clothes for the trip and made my way to the airlock. _No matter, I had something up my sleeve and there's not a chance I'm going to let that ass get the best of me. Shepard just needs to see, to feel...us again._  
I got to the airlock and saw that everyone had already gathered and waited anxiously for us to land. Everyone had smiles on their faces, they all looked so happy. My gaze couldn't help but wonder over to Shepard and..._him._ He had his arms wrapped around her waist while she leaned up against him, the look of utter content on her face. _Ugh, what did she see in him? What does he have that I don't? Sure, he's got muscle, but Shepard never really looked for someone just for their looks._ I felt my fists clench at my sides, not knowing they did until I felt the nails dig into my skin. I tore myself away, focusing on the task at hand. If this was to go right, I'd have to time everything perfectly.

We arrived and like informed, the shuttles were there ready and waiting. _Perfect._ I looked to see three shuttles. The driver in the last shuttle gave me a knowing nod and I returned it before making my way to the second shuttle. Tali, Garrus, Liara and Traynor had already gotten into the first shuttle and were already on their way to the resort. James was too damn busy packing his gym equipment into the third shuttle to notice me helping Shepard pack her stuff into the second shuttle along with EDI and Joker's stuff. When the three got seated,

"Where's James?" Shepard asked rather concerned. I inwardly chuckled as I replied,

"I thought you told him to pack his stuff into the third shuttle?"

"What? No, I never told him to-" The driver conveniently interrupted by saying they had to leave now to get there on time.

I looked over to see Shepard's shoulders slump down as she took out her omni-tool and typed something. I sat down next to her, feeling her shuffle away. This time, I laughed out loud and draped my hand around her shoulder and pulled her back.

"Aw, well that's too bad, because we have to leave now." I said coyly.

"Kaidan, I swear to god..." She didn't have to finish the sentence before I reluctantly pulled my arm away from her, in fear of having it torn off.  
"Okay, okay." Her face seemed...sad. Wow, is it that bad to have to ride with me. "So, you excited Shep?"

"You're really not gonna stop with the Shep, are you?" She answered, her gaze never leaving the wall of the shuttle.

"Commander, is there going to be a pool at the resort?" EDI cut in. Shepard then broke her gaze and turned it to EDI.

"Why? What would you do in a pool?" Shepard asked with a raised brow.

"I have successfully equipped my body with the same technology as that Mech you used when you met Leviathan. I will be able to swim with the crew without, well...dieing!"

I couldn't suppress the laugh that came out as I watched EDI's face show emotion. _It was just so..funny!_

"But EDI you'd just sink to the bottom..." I quietly added, not wanting to ruin her moment. Out of nowhere, Shepard punched me hard in the arm, "Ey, what gives!"

"Don't be a dick Kaidan! Let her have her moment."

"And our Shep is back!" I cheered before taking the risk and leaning in and hugging her. Surprisingly, she gave it right back.

"Yeah yeah. Now call me Shep one more time and I'll rip your balls off."

**Still Kaidan's POV:**

It had been a good two hours, Joker lay asleep on EDI's lap as the AI herself shut her systems down to go into rest mode. Lucky for me, Shepard was also tired and had no choice but to rest against me. Obviously she hesitated, but my great acting and smooth ways convinced her it was just a friendly offer. My god she was beautiful, I looked down at her, my eyes always wandered to her plump, luscious lips. What I would do with those lips. My little fantasy was cut short by a beep from my omni-tool.

_Driver: Ey', the guy's asking a lot of questions. What the hell am I suppose to say?_  
_Me: What's he asking?_  
_Driver: Where I'm takin' him, why I ain't following you...etc._

I groan. I am not letting anything ruin this.

_Me: Ugh. Okay, how about this, do at least three rounds around all of down town, then stop for gas or something. Um, then afterwards pretend to get lost. See what happens from there._  
_Driver. Alright. But I want extra payment, for labor._

Oh, I bet that mooch is laughing to himself right now.

_Me: Fine._

I'll pay any amount for this to go right.

** 10:30 pm Stracona Park Lodge- Shepard's POV:**

I woke up to the feeling of my body being lifted and the brush of chilly air against my skin.

"What the?"

"Ey, wake up sleepy head." Kaidan's voice snapped me to attention. He carried me in his arms bridal style, it took a good five minutes of my squirming before he finally let me down.

"We here?" I asked lazily, sleep slurring my words.

"Yeah, everyone else is already settled into their rooms. the driver was nice enough to let you take a couple z's before he left." He suddenly laughed, "Your snoring has gotten a lot quieter, thank god."

"Oh shut up! Do you hear your snores? Their like gorilla's having some sort of...ugh, never mind! Where's my stuff?" I muttered, irritated and tired.

"In your room, I brought em' there while you were sleeping."

"Uh...thanks. Where's James?"

"Oh, he wanted to stay in the city for a bit, something about some demons he's got there."

_ James has demons? In Vancouver? He never told me that...why wouldn't he? Is he hiding something from me? Oh my god, what if...he's having an __**affair?!**_

The dreadful thought dashed around my mind, making my stomach turn.

"Shep, I know your a little upset right now-"

"Upset? I'm fucking pissed! I put in the request for shore leave because he wanted us to spend some time together and he goes and just up right ditches me!? What if he's in a sleaze bag motel right now bangin' some-"

Without warning, Kaidan's rough finger firmly pressed against lips, "Hush. Now I know you've been a little wary about me and...us, but why don't you have dinner with me tonight? Just you, me and a bottle of good ol' fashioned Ryncol."

_Oh...you...__**sly**__...__**sly**__...bastard. He knows I love Ryncol!_

"Kaidan, I told you, there's no..._us_ anymore-"

"C'mon, it's just dinner. And how about it' just dinner and drinks between two good friends."

_Smooth Kaidan, real fucking smooth. Oh what the hell, James wants to play this game, well I can fucking play._

"Fine Kaidan. I'll come by in about an hour, alright?"

* * *

**Kaidan's POV:**

I ordered Chinese and Rented the new Blasto 8: Rise of the Jellies, I knew it would get Shepard riled up. I set up the drinks and got the sofa ready. _This is going to be, perfect._ I showered, shaved and put on a pair of baggy sweat pants. Then the knock I was waiting for,

"Kaidan, you in there?"

I open the door to be greeted by her curvacious body being hugged by a black tank top and very snug fitting shorts. I knew I was gawking and probably drooling.

"Damn..."

"What?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. Come in." I was puzzled when she just stood in the doorway. "What's wrong?"

"Um, I can wait if you...still gotta get, dressed." She stuttered nervously. I saw her eyes graze over my bare chest. I let out a laugh before grabbing her arm and pulling her inside. As she looked around the room, I made **_damn_** sure to lock the door.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," I looked up to see her holding the Blasto movie, "Really?!"

"Aha, oh c'mon, it's a comedy!"

"Yeah, a jellyfish pretending to be me is real fucking funny."

I walked over and pushed her down onto the couch, grabbed the glass of Ryncol and handed it to her.

"When your drunk, it's gonna be fucking hilarious."

I was actually surprised when she broke out in that beautiful laughter I longed to hear for so long, swiped the drink from me and made herself comfy on the sofa.

"Pass me the food!"

I grabbed the take-out, my drink and settled myself onto the couch. I looked over to her as she scarfed down her food, why did I ever let her go. Brushing the regret away, I took her long, well toned legs and rested them over my lap while she laid on her back. Glad that she shifted closer to get comfortable.

**Shepard's POV:**

Shockingly, the movie had managed to make me laugh a couple times. The food was great and it was just a nice night. Unfortunately the Ryncol was getting to me. My senses were blurred, my vision hazy and my head spinning in all directions.

"Ka...kaidan. Pass me the *hiccup* Rooncol..."

I heard him let out that husky laugh that, as much as I hated to admit it, that laugh always sent shivers down my spine. Suddenly my breath hitched as his rough hand began to trail its way up my thigh. My body felt heavy, leading to my little movement. I guess he took it as a gesture to continue. And before I knew it, his hand was now on my inner thigh.

"No, Ka-Kaidan-"

"Shh Shepard, I know we've both wanted this."

Before I knew it, he had positioned himself between my legs , had my wrists pinned above my head and was attacking my neck with hard kisses.

"Ple...please, sto-stop." I whimpered, my body betraying me as a moan escaped from my lips as he ground his crotch against my sensitive core. I could feel a damp pool of my juices begin to form underneath me. "Nggn, ple- please."

"Shepard, stop fighting it. You know you've wanted this."

I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, they began to stream down my face. _This can't be happening, it just can't! I don't want this!_

"Get off me!" I screamed before I released a sloppy but strong biotic throw. But alas, it was pointless. He barely budged an inch before I saw his face drastically change. His eyes darkened and his features angered.

"Why are you resisting?" He questioned, before he placed his hand down on my mouth. "You just to feel...**_us_** again, Shepard! Then you'll remember who's really right for you!"

"*sniffle* The Kaidan I kn...knew, Ne-never would've done this!" I sobbed out between gasps for breath. My mind was still spinning, but I had enough sense in me to know what was happening. "Please, stop!"

At first he remained stone still in his place, his gaze locked on my face. His face had now saddened. He then leaned down placed his lips on mine. I had no idea what came over me when my lips decided to kiss him back. _This is wrong Shepard!_

"Mmm...No!" I once again tried to push him off me but with no success.

"Sorry to say Shepard, this is the Kaidan _**you've**_ made me."

Before I had the chance to reply, he had ripped my shorts in half, leaving me bare. My core twitched at the sudden brush of air. His fingers began to graze at my outer lips, I shuddered at his touch. Then, two fingers pushed themselves inside me and began to pump in and out of my core.

"I'm sorry Shepard." He whispered.

"You're s..ick!" I managed to utter before my mind began to slip into darkness with the mixture of pleasure and intoxication.

But before everything went black, I managed to catch a glimpse of the room door get thrown off it's hinges then...

Then the darkness took over.


End file.
